Ayahuasca

I could go on an on about my own experience, but I'll save that for another post. The short of it is, I went into the experience with a lot of ideas and came out with precisely zero; and I've never felt cleaner. I am God's anointed one, an ascendant starchild, and you can be too. This isn't about me at all, this is about you, you are a genius and with the right spark you might just realize it. If you want to, here's how you can properly cash in on premature enlightenment for about 80 USD.

1) Detox for one week. All that stuff you put into your body every day to stay sane in an insane city, you gotta get that shit out. Just take it easy, deleverage, no caffeine, no cigarettes, no marijuana, no alcohol, no spicy foods, red meat, fried foods, and take it easy on the refined sugar. Get a little exercise, do thorough stretching, sweat a little. Abstain from sexual activity for the 24 hours before just to have fresh libido. You will need to at least sweep up the temple that is your body.

2) Attend an Ayahuasca ceremony, in Buenos Aires there is a service that produces these ceremonies called Urkumanta. Take of the Ayahuasca.

3) This one is very important, after you imbibe the bitter fluid you need to drink a bit of water and start breathing prana yama. Real slow in through the mouth using the tongue as a suction pump to effortlessly take in air, real slow out through the nose. Just keep at it, don't worry if you're doing it right, you're going to do great. Nice and slow, nice and deep, fill your lungs, focus on the breath. This dispels all nausea and magnifies the beneficial impact.

Do these three things and you will get everything you ever wanted out the treasure vault that is your soul, you will gain a profound appreciation of what you are, what you aren't, why you're here and why you must live for the day for now and forever; you will experience joy more profound than a multi-stacked orgasm with someone you love or the birth of your own child or being born or becoming famous or creating an immortal work of art, and most importantly you will get higher than Holy Fuck.