Tonight the US Soccer team takes on Brazil in their first international match since the World Cup. I'm pretty sure no one cares around here, but playing Brazil in soccer is always a challenge, always fun to watch, and always garners some sort of attention. But enough about the beautiful game. It got me thinking. I don't think I've ever met a Brazilian I didn't like. Seriously. In a nutshell, here's why:
Brazilians are fun, period. Poor, rich, black, or white, they often have these perma-grins, and a bounce around their day to day life as if they were at a party 24/7. It's hard to get a Brazilian to stand still, or even be quiet. Outside of the Chinese, Israelis, and Americans, they're pretty much the loudest people on earth. But unlike the uncomfortable screams of the multi-tonal Chinese language, and the retarded banter between two 20-year-old girls from equally uninteresting parts of California, Brazilian noise is almost always made in a celebratory tone. And man, do they like to celebrate.
I remember being in Punta del Este about three years ago with an American friend of mine who likes to party. We stayed in a hostel that every tourist does, called 1949, and bunked up with a group of about 15 Southern Brazilians. In one day, as my friend and I popped in and out of the ocean, taking naps, site seeing, eating, and stopping for the occasional beer, the hostel Brazilians did only two things: drink beer, and dance. Without exaggerating, I would estimate that between the 15 of them, they took on close to 200 liters of Brahma in a 15 or 16 hour period. They also had a boombox with them wherever they went, blasting heavy electro samba beats or 80s hair metal exclusively. I'm not sure if they even ate. But the greatest thing about this group was that they didn't stop. We went to bed before them, 2am, and were woken up by them. Doing what? You guessed it. Drinking beer and dancing. This time playing their own bongo drums, and chasing the suds with Marlboro reds and tropical fruits. This was at 7am.
Another great thing about Brazilians is that they agitate Argentines for all the right reasons. The soccer rivalry is fun, but it's lame to actually take that seriously outside of just being a game. Argentines take this too seriously because while being a dominant force in the region, they are usually on the losing end when up against Brazil. It's kind of like the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry. "Close but no cigar" is annoying as fuck when your rival owns a case of cigars, and "close" is a word rarely thought of.
There's also this weird Argentine/Brazilian rivalry based on Brazil's recent economic success. Argentines won't admit this, because they used to look at Brazilians as the fun, but poor and struggling neighbor. Argentines used to tout their wealth in Buzios and Rio in the summer, taking advantage of a strong currency, and an open tourist economy. Now, with the Argentine peso floundering, and the Argentine tourism economy holding together a large portion of the local wealth, the tables have turned. Literally.
Not that the Argies don't still fill the beaches in Buzios, or haggle for fresh coconut milk on the sands of Ipanema, but the percentage of Brazilians visiting their country has grown exponentially in recent years. Also, with the Brazilian Real slowly climbing towards 1 to 1 with the US dollar, and the peso sinking into the 4s, Brazilians have massive spending power abroad. And they know it.
It's kind of like if when a fat shy guy hits the gym and becomes all confident. His attitude changes, he starts getting chicks, he dresses better. You're happy for him as a friend, but deep down you kind of hate the douchebag he's turned into, and the fact that he's scoring more, and looks better than you do. This is kind of like the relationship between Argentines and Brazilians economically. They come to Buenos Aires wearing garish gold jewelry and gaudy Italian designer attire, breezing through shopping malls and bars with the economic ease of a gringo or Japanese tourist. But they do it in Portuguese, a language different enough to confuse the average Argentine, but similar enough to aggravate them that they don't know even a word in Spanish.
That's another thing. The language. I love hearing Brazilians speak Portuguese. If ever a language represented a people in it's sound, phrases, and natural cadence, it's Portuguese with Brazilians. The language bounces, with multi-tonal phrases that ebb and flow almost seamlessly with the sentiment of the speaker. They also have an incredibly hard time pronouncing other languages without their own style of speech and accent. In Boston, "Red Sox" becomes "Heggie Sockies", and my personal favorite, "Big Mac" becomes "Biggie Mackie". It's an endearing and honest way of speaking, and it's fun. Much better than listening to an Argentine say "Sprite", or a Gringo trying to pronounce the term "Horarios" correctly.
Lastly, they're fucking HOT. While physically speaking, most Brazilians don't have the slender or smooth physique of an Argentine, or Southern European. But what they lack in slenderness, they make up in shape. Brazilian booty is legendary, and with good reason. The women are shaped, and round, and tan. They walk with a confident swagger, and they have very few body issues when it comes to being exposed. You can almost feel the energy from a Brazilian woman even before you make eye contact with her, and while they often tend to overdue it with the make up and accessories, you seldom hear them talking about how fat they are, or why they need a better nose, or smaller chin. I say, more power to them.
All this being said, however, go team USA. But I still love you guys.
