Why You're Stupid.

List it out. Here's why, in the figurative sense, that I think you're stupid:

You are stupid because you yell at the screen in the movies.
You are stupid because you ask for a Grey Goose and mix it with Diet Coke.
You are stupid because you like the LA Lakers.
You are stupid because you voted for George W. Bush (twice !!!)
You are stupid because you think Reggaeton is "Argentine"
You are stupid because you mock gay men, yet you wax yourself, obsess in the mirror, and buy magazines of other handsome men posing fabulously in little to no clothing.

You are stupid because you believe that ANYONE in politics that's against the USA does good for your lame fucking country.
You are stupid because you like the New York Yankees.
You are stupid because you think that creepily touching a 20-year-old girl on the small of her back while talking to her will make her "like" you.
You are stupid because you do coke...and don't share.
You are stupid because you think just because your trendy cracker ass moves to Brooklyn, that you're suddenly a "real" NEW YORKER. And you "get it".

You are stupid because you think people in Brazil speak Spanish.
You are stupid because you can't convert kilos to pounds.
You are stupid because you have to tell me what fucking university you went to, in order to convince me that you're not stupid.
You are stupid because you are Argentine, with an Italian last name, you refer to natives as "negros", and yet you call ME a racist because people in a state (Arizona) 2,800 miles from me decided to make a racist law in one of the many years I WASN'T living in the US for.

You are stupid because you wear a scarf, and/or sunglasses inside, and your name isn't Kanye West...who, by the way, is STUPID.
You are stupid because you think having a cat is "gay", but crying with your friends and hugging it out after a few too many Fernets is just "brotherhood".
You are stupid because you're a "communist" who eats at McDonald's, wears Nike shoes, and spends $300 pesos to see a washed up 80s rock band at Pepsi...oh yes..."Pepsi Music Fest". And then you have the nerve to slam US consumerism, you dumb monkey.

You are stupid because you think after a semester abroad, a few sexual experiences, and a mind-opening weekend trip at age 20, that you now can relate to these people. You can't, and they hate you.
You are stupid because I fucking said so.

Love you.